Done: Monday, July 5, 2010 at 11:18pm
I swear I thought of just letting this pass. But I realized maybe I shouldn’t because that is as good as admitting to people who saw my actions that I was really the only one who should be blamed. To you who send me a million nasty messages, I don’t know what you are & I am not sure who you are (Though I think I have an idea). But Fuck you! B-) Hide in your tiny little hammock and enjoy how I was humiliated sending me nasty messages. Making someone happy in little ways makes me glad.
First, I think I need to say sorry to those people who saw that incident. I know some of you told me already that it is alright and you understand..because I am your friend. I don’t think being friends with me is the reason that I want to know…the reason that I need that’s why you understood. I need you to really understand. I am still not sure about the exact details that unleashed the devil from within me. What I know is that I was harrased. It wasn’t the alcohol. Maybe it amplified my anger but it wasn’t the only reason. I was harrased. I remembered how the O.I.C mocked and pushed me and he wanted to hide under a rock when I began to fight back. It took a few pushings and grimmings for me to realized that I shouldn’t be treated like that and I swear to God I’d react more violently if I wasn’t drunk. So I am not going to go “Blame it on the Alcohol” in here. I was drunk fighting for me…alone. When nobody could see I was being laughed at crawling my way out from the Hotel.
Why would I cursed at their Guest just like that. There must be a reason why I cursed them. Maybe they cursed me first. Maybe I was just cursing back at them. I won’t do that. I was extremely happy during the party. There was no way I’d be in the war freak mode. I get into my war freak mode when I am agitated. I get in my war freak mode when I know that my friends are being stepped on. I am still a guy so I roll my fists when I need to. K, I behaved like that to the driver in HK because thats how foreigners should behave. Most Chinese (not all) tend to take advantage of the foreigners because they know we can pay. I’ve had several experiences close to this. A lot fo foreigners complain about this. Didn’t you think that I was just protecting you? I wen’t semi-ballistic with the guard near your apartment because he was unreasonably rude to you teeling you to get your shit parked in some place else. I just don’t want you to be more pissed off. When I drew my finger to that guard didn’t we went on ahead to what we were supposed to do in a snap? Sometimes we need to remind bitchy sales clerks and security guards because they forget where they should be really standing. No matter what the reason is, they must be “polite”. They shouldn't be the cause of someone’s delays. Lecheflan!,how many times did you witness me throwing tantrums all over the place when I get drunk? How many times? Slap my face right now if your answer would exceed “None”! I sometimes yell because I am just passionate about what I say. Totally different things. It wasn’t just the alcohol. I was violent because I was fighting for a friend. It wasn’t just the alcohol. I woke up. Maximum level na naalimpungatan ako and I saw your friend taking my clothes off licking my incredibly rock hard dick. Do you remember that, C? I didn’t just throw my cellphone for nothing. I was actually being polite pa nga kasi I didn’t blow his head off because I know he was your friend. Should I be a Lamb for that,E? My God! I am dying to get your opinion on this. I was being harrased and you,C, strutted your way out to the elevator still wondering why I was so annoyed.
Please stop making me feel like I have this fucking disease. That I need to consult a shrink and be treated because I get soooo damn angry.. What’s the difference between cursing someone in public and threatening someone on-line? Mas soshal ba kapag sa on-line lang?
I was behaving like a nun before I get drunk in that party. I am decent in social gatherings and when I snap once because of a reasonable reason and I was happen to be drunk “pooof” I am a scandalous belligerent bitch already. Reality check please? Didn't you get crazy too over love? Didn’t you fight for love too kahit napapahiya ka na na muka ka ng ta ga pauli-ulit ng sinasabi? Really? Ever?!
I get angry for a reason. Now, think why you kept on saying sorry to those Hotel employees when I was the one who was really humiliated. When they were the ones who were begging me to please yell again to their O.I.C dahil mayabang talaga yun. I am not the kind of person who would ask someone to help me fight my fights. Here, I really fought for me. Thank God the police man really considered my explanations. He knows,man. He knows I was drunk but it wasn’t enough to determine I was the person to blame for everything.
Do not overlook. It wasn’t just the alcohol.
But I think I still need to say sorry.
Darn! How are you going to like me now after this?