The Basis of My Life is Freedom; The Purpose of My Life is Joy .

Thursday, August 19, 2010

To Swim or Not To Swim

Making a Good First Impression With a Customer: Preparing for an Initial Meeting Can Develop a Lifelong Client.
--Heather Rothbauer-Wanish

First experiences lingers a lifetime. That's why it is so important to show your maximum courteousness and aristocratic level of service to a new customer. B-)

It was a night when Spring was about to kick in and I asked Xx to check out the pool with me. It’s 9pm on my watch and we were alone so I immediately stripped down to my Speedo and tested the water with my toes. Tolerable.

Xx comes back from the restroom.

Xx: The restroom smells… like a rotten ince…nse… Suddenly Stunned.

Me: Go ask the doorbitch (in clubs their job title is really Doorbitch) if we need to pay to swim in here.

Xx: Ohkay. And I thought we’ll just check the pool out.

Me: Ya? How do we check it out? By swimming,right?

Xx: …..Aren’t you gonna take a shower 1st?

Me: You think I still should? There’s no one in here but us. I don’t think the Chinese are in the mood to swim these days. I’ve been eyeing on this pool for days and nobody comes here. Didn’t you inhale in the bus this afternoon? It’s winter. Nobody breaks a sweat. But it’s still pheromone overload.

Xx: Which means?

Me: Which means most people here would rather choose to vapor kamias puree from their pores than wipe their armpits with wetones.

*Why is it imperative to take a shower before swimming? I think it’s a bit bull. ? What difference will it make? I mean who didn’t secretly take a piss in the pool? Kahit isang patak lang. It’s still piss. Or spewed and blow their brains out through their noses in the pool? Everybody has hoovered someone else’s urine to their pores while swimming. It’s a natural phenomenon. Hehe.

Me:It wasn’t like I worked all day in a construction site.

Xx: Confused Stare...

Me: I took a shaw 30 minutes agooo? Okaay? Isn’t that enough?

Xx: Err…What’s kamias???

Me: Staring at Xx while walking to the farthest part of the pool.

*Xx walks to the counter. Still confused and says with a grim,” Hey! Stop being bossy, okay?”

*Xx is still in sight walking but I dived in right away on my ass to the water with excitement.

*I felt the intense pain from my glutes. It slowly crawled all the way to the tips of my hair and toenails. It’s a wide basin disguised as a grown-up swimming pool. I was moving slowly towards the handrail on my knees while still in huge pain. I think I might’ve tasted a little blood inside my throat. I gulped it back in.

*Xx comes back undressing. Looks like a part in Baywatch when Pamela is in a soft porn scene going in action to save a kid from drowning. 1st, Xx kicks out Havaianas while pulling up shirt with crossed arms. Then, unbuttons shorts and let it slide down to the ground and walks out from it.

*Rolled my eyes. I am so not in the mood for seduction right now. I have internal hemorrhage.

Xx: You really couldn’t wait, can ya? Diving without wearing goggles? You’re gonna lose those long lashes.

Me: Ya. Shaw…shiiiin (Shawshin= Be careful in Mandarin. Ain’t sure about pin yin B-) ).

Xx: What? Oh now you want me to take a shower? ? That’s a unique way of showing me your interests. Walking slowly and testing the waters. Whoa! You didn’t tell me it’s a bit cold.

Me: I said, shawshin.

Xx: Sing what?

Me: …….

Xx: Come in here. I can’t see you already. Why are you in the deep end? You know I don’t swim that well. Smiles.

*Xx was the one who taught me how to swim.

Xx: Come here. I can only see the tip of your hair now.

*Well that is because I was drowning in pain already.

Me: I th-h-hink we better go back upstairs. It’s too c-c-coold in here.

Xx: Don’t you think the floor feels greasy? Eww! When was the last time they hovered this up?

Me: Prrrreciselllly.

*I guessed maybe they never thought somebody would still think to swim in a cold winter night.

Xx: I can’t believe we paid 20 rmb each for slimes.

Me: Exactly my point. Let’s g-g-ooo.

*I hurried back towards the elevator. The cold breeze of the wind blew and hurried me while I was still in pain.

Xx: Grimming.You forgot your iphone.

Now, I realized they thought we weren’t a resident that’s why they charged us 20rmb. Outsiders are welcome to visit with a purchased ticket. They didn’t even issue us a receipt. While walking in pain with a cold wind torturing me I noticed there was a small gym at the corner with barbells, dumbbells and a treadmill. They’re all as grimy as hell. Like I’d go out from it with a much clogged nose of boogers.


*Looking at the pool standing on my veranda eating brown beans stuffed mooncake. “To swim or not to swim?”

In my mind:

Pool: I will wash your worries away-way-way-way.....
Me: F%&king Pool.

"So again, To swim or not to swim?"

Xx: On the phone: Why not? Enjoy summer while you can! I could sense Xx holding laughs.

Me: …… Hanged up the phone.

*I suddenly had a big feeling Xx knows what happened to me that night. I can imagine earsplitting laughs right now. Arrrggk!

*Looked at the pool yet again.
Naah. It’s summer. Most people in here have probably perspired like a fully turned tap. I can imagine how the water would taste like.
-Isang malaking batcha ng Sinigang! (a wide basin of sour stew soup)


Xx: I think my signal here is bad. So…holding laughs again…are you gonna swim or what?

Me: Passed. Might be slimy again.

*12 days to go before work starts! B-)


jericho said...

wahahaha. takes the saying 'look before you leap' to another level. :D

E said...

:-) aliw aliw :-) more more more!

Silly_Sili_Kid said...

@Jericho: there was no sign of depths. maybe i should sue them! how should i say that in mandarin?

@E: OK OK. Palo me din,E.hehe (personal joke w/Aa,Palo=Follow)